At the end
It's 8:05 pm the night before my due date. I can't believe I'm the end of my pregnancy. I know that Payton can be late, but knowing the end is near is kinda nice. I've enjoyed being pregnant, but these last 3 weeks have been really hard for me. I not the biggest fan of surprises. I have to know what or when something is going to happen. James has a hard time surprising me because I'm always trying figure out what he is doing. *He did surprise me today with some chocolate and a Valentines day card* Anyways knowing that Payton could come any time excites me, but also terrifies me. I mean when in the world is he going to show. I wish I could just be give a date saying that he will be born that day. Not a due date since most babies are not born on their actual due date. Poor James, I've kept him up numerous time in the past few weeks freaking out, stressing, etc. over this whole not knowing and knowing that I can't do anything about it really. God knows and I have to live in comfort with that. But it's hard. I have to know what is going on.
It's still hard to believe that pretty soon it won't be just James and I. That part is also hard for me. I'm really excited about becoming a mom, but knowing my relationship with my husband is going to change is kinda hard for me. I'm going to have be thinking of a third person. Which I'm looking forward to. I guess I can't handle change as well as I thought. I thought I did okay when we moved from Michigan to Alaska. I know I struggled some, but I thought I pulled though it somewhat alright. But now we are adding to our family. Which is a totally different type of change.
Another thing is that when Payton is born I can't just return him back to his parent; like I would do babysitting; I am his parent. I have to handle everything. All the ups and downs. Which I am looking forward to along with James' help. It obviously will be a lot different for me. It definitely won't be like watching my niece and nephews haha. I just can't sugar them up and send them home. Lucky for me when we go home in June, my sister can't really pay me back yet since he will only be roughly 4 months old. (If she is reading this, I'm sure she will think of something).
Well Since I am making it to my actual due date, unless I have him in the next 3 hours. This will be my last blog. Next time I write will be after Payton arrives. So it might still be a couple of weeks before I get on here as I adjust to being a new mom.
It's still hard to believe that pretty soon it won't be just James and I. That part is also hard for me. I'm really excited about becoming a mom, but knowing my relationship with my husband is going to change is kinda hard for me. I'm going to have be thinking of a third person. Which I'm looking forward to. I guess I can't handle change as well as I thought. I thought I did okay when we moved from Michigan to Alaska. I know I struggled some, but I thought I pulled though it somewhat alright. But now we are adding to our family. Which is a totally different type of change.
Another thing is that when Payton is born I can't just return him back to his parent; like I would do babysitting; I am his parent. I have to handle everything. All the ups and downs. Which I am looking forward to along with James' help. It obviously will be a lot different for me. It definitely won't be like watching my niece and nephews haha. I just can't sugar them up and send them home. Lucky for me when we go home in June, my sister can't really pay me back yet since he will only be roughly 4 months old. (If she is reading this, I'm sure she will think of something).
Well Since I am making it to my actual due date, unless I have him in the next 3 hours. This will be my last blog. Next time I write will be after Payton arrives. So it might still be a couple of weeks before I get on here as I adjust to being a new mom.
And...now...on to your NEXT GREAT ADVENTURE!
ReplyDeleteBeck you are going to be a Great mom. As the days and years past you will never be able to remember a day when it was just you and James. It will be all three of you. I wish I could be there for you guys,Please know I would if I could,however you are always in my thoughts and prayers as you go through these changes. I love you becka dodalls.
ReplyDeleteIt will never be the same again...you're right about that...but, it will be wonderful! Your Mom's right...after this you will be MoRe...and it is good! We all love you! We will be praying for you, not just as you give birth, but as you raise sweet lil Payton... Love you girl... (and you, too, James!)
ReplyDelete