Faith
As I am sitting watching Anne of Green Gables I keep thinking on what is going in my (our) life. We keep getting bills that we have to pay and they all happen to be due around the time we go to Anchorage. So as I pay bills I see our grocery money slowly going down. I have been trying not to worry or stress, but last night was my breaking point. Over the weekend I was figuring out our account and how much bills we have to pay. While in church yesterday listening to the message I all of a sudden thought of another bill that we had to pay that I didn't know how we will pay it. During the message my pastor was talking about how God provided manna to the Israelite's for 40 years. He knew what they need and provided that. So here I am stressing about how we are going to make it without going in the negative and our pastor ends his sermon with God provides. I know that God provides. It's just hard to see what little money we have get used up. We have never gone without. We have always been able to pay everything. I just need to learn to trust and rely on God more. I know that I have a hard time with that, but I want to get better.
Anyway, my breaking point to were I just snapped was when James came home. He wasn't feeling good, but he made himself go to work. I told him that he shouldn't go to work today and that he should just stay home and rest. He tells me he is going to go because he has no more sick days and he doesn't want to take a lot of vacation days because he wants them for when our little girl is born. That is if she is born on a day that he is working. If it on a day off he won't worry about it, but since we don't know what day she is going to be born we want to be prepared. Anyways I told James that yes that while we don't have the spare money for him to stay home, but we need him healthy so we will make do. So James and I talked a lot of was bottle up inside of me. I had more than just money stressing me out. He ended up praying just before we went to bed. I had peace for the first time that weekend that everything will be fine. There are things that were little blessings in disguse that has helped. Like my prenatal appointment got changed from 9am to 12pm which meant we had to push our Anchorage trip back by a day which meant we saved one day of a car rent and a night at the hotel. Also that James gets paid the day we go into Anchorage. And that there are 3 paydays in October. I know that we will be fine and that everything will work out for us. We just have to put our faith in God.
Now some happier news. Our little girl has been moving like crazy this past week. On Saturday I started my 33rd week which means roughly 7 weeks left until she comes. My mom comes in 6 weeks and she will be here for about 18 days. And then a few days after she leaves we get to go up to Aniak for the week of Thanksgiving and hang out with the Wilson family. We haven't seen them since May. I am so looking forward to the month of November.
Anyway, my breaking point to were I just snapped was when James came home. He wasn't feeling good, but he made himself go to work. I told him that he shouldn't go to work today and that he should just stay home and rest. He tells me he is going to go because he has no more sick days and he doesn't want to take a lot of vacation days because he wants them for when our little girl is born. That is if she is born on a day that he is working. If it on a day off he won't worry about it, but since we don't know what day she is going to be born we want to be prepared. Anyways I told James that yes that while we don't have the spare money for him to stay home, but we need him healthy so we will make do. So James and I talked a lot of was bottle up inside of me. I had more than just money stressing me out. He ended up praying just before we went to bed. I had peace for the first time that weekend that everything will be fine. There are things that were little blessings in disguse that has helped. Like my prenatal appointment got changed from 9am to 12pm which meant we had to push our Anchorage trip back by a day which meant we saved one day of a car rent and a night at the hotel. Also that James gets paid the day we go into Anchorage. And that there are 3 paydays in October. I know that we will be fine and that everything will work out for us. We just have to put our faith in God.
Now some happier news. Our little girl has been moving like crazy this past week. On Saturday I started my 33rd week which means roughly 7 weeks left until she comes. My mom comes in 6 weeks and she will be here for about 18 days. And then a few days after she leaves we get to go up to Aniak for the week of Thanksgiving and hang out with the Wilson family. We haven't seen them since May. I am so looking forward to the month of November.
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