It's been too long

It has been awhile since I last wrote. I mean I have attempted to write, but  I seem to just lose my train of thought or one of my kids need my attention. Sometimes I feel that I have so much to say, but when I come to write it out I can't get it in the words that I want it to. If that makes any since. I also have been losing sleep most nights. I'm not purposely trying to give excuses, but it's true. I am at a stage in motherhood where my two year wakes up in the middle of the night and joins James and I in bed. My almost 6 months old wakes up in the middle of the night still if she goes to bed before 9:30. It's worse on the nights that James has to be up early the next morning for work. There are days that I am barely awake until the afternoon. Sometimes I set an alarm on my ipod just to make sure I'm awake just in case I start drifting off to sleep in the morning. That mostly happens when Emma is taking her nap and Payton is watching Curious George.

The last week or so I have felt like a failure in being a housewife and a mom at the same time. I have been mostly a mom. Payton was/still sick, then I was sick, and then Emma was/still sick. Its been just a cold, and sinus stuff for me. Poor Payton has been getting sick at least once a month now for quite some time. We have missed church a lot in the last few months since I have been wanting him to recover. I have been kinda bum that we have to miss church every now and then, but on the days that James has off some how we are all healthy enough to go. So sometimes I feel like we only go every other week. haha. 

Back to the failure of the housewife. I will admit my house has been trashed. It has bother me to know end, but I just could never get the energy to clean it, or I would start cleaning and then a certain little boy wakes up from his nap and then I see it was pointless to even try cleaning the living room. Yesterday though I got my kitchen clean. I mean I swept the floors got the dishes done and all but one counter clean. I even wiped of the stove. This was a big deal to me. I don't know why I had that much energy. Was it the snow falling? Was it the sunshine in between the snowfall? Or was it the fact that I got some sleep? I don't know, but it felt wonderful. I even got some of my living room clean.

I am always apologizing to James about the house being a mess, but he understands that I have to deal with to clingy kids. 

Now I will stop talking about being a failure. :) I just needed to vent a little.  

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