Deep down inside

I've have been married for a year and a half and for the last year of it I was always getting asked if I was pregnant yet. My answer would always be no I am not. I remember my last 6 months at work I was always asked at least 3 days a week multiple times a day. I even had someone tell me congratulations because of some joke that kept going on from some people I hung out with at work. I finally decided I had enough of it because it hurt me deep down when I would have to tell people I am not pregnant. I wanted to be pregnant, but I knew that it was not the time for James and I to start trying for a baby. We were getting ready to move from MI to AK, we couldn't afford a baby and the stress of me being pregnant when we were about to make this big move. When I got to Alaska, I got asked a couple of times if I was pregnant yet and I would have say no. About 2 months had past before I was asked the question again, the answer was still no. To this day I still get people asking me if I'm pregnant yet, and the answer is still NO. I would love to be pregnant. I want to be pregnant, but it just hasn't happened yet. I honestly would get jealous of my friends on facebook that got pregnant before me and they got married after me. Okay so some of them might be honeymoon babies and I can't do anything about that. Some people are pregnant for their second or third child and it still would hurt me deep down because I'm not even pregnant for my first child.  I have gotten better at this whole jealousy thing. Me wanting a baby right now might not be want God wants right now. I know that when God wants James and I to start having kids I'll be extremely excited and happy. Everyday I have to remind myself that I need to wait for God's time and not mine. 
If your reading this and you are someone that has asked me this question, please take no offense to it, I just wanted to let people know that it hurts when I get asked. Don't worry I will tell everyone when I am pregnant. I haven't forgotten that I have family and friends that want to know. I will share in my excitement once it happens to me. So as of right now I am not pregnant. 

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